“Be Still, and Know…” – From Breakdown TO Breakthrough
It all started exactly two weeks ago with a flat tyre. I had been preparing to go to Church when I realised that my left back tyre was flat and that a screw was lodged in the rubber. So I had resolved to replace the tyre with a spare, go to Church and have it fixed the next day. But it was not meant to be. Having jacked up the car in the garage and having removed the screws, I found it impossible to remove the wheel from the car. There I was up and down, pulling and tugging, hitting and most important of all hurting my knees in this ordeal. I had never experienced pain like this before and then I remembered I have a chronic knee problem that had flared up about 10 years ago after having had changed a tyre.
Having been at it for half an hour, I decided to call one of my patients who is a mechanic for suggestions, and he was kind enough to come to my house with WD-40 and was able to with a few puffs of that de-ruster easily remove the wheel, take it to his place and have it repaired and replaced. Problem solved except that I missed church that day.
However, that was the beginning, as near the end of the week, as fate would have had it, two of my young patients developed serious medical conditions the likes of which we could not manage in the Federation. I had cancelled my private clinic in the afternoon and set about writing medical reports, photocopying and scanning results, emailing and calling colleagues in Barbados, Trinidad, Jamaica and Puerto Rico, insurance agents, Ministry Officials and family members. Given we do not have a case management department, the responsibility fell on me to organise all this, as I was told by the local medical insurance agent. So most of the time was spent walking back and forth, up and down the stairs, to access the computer in the Administration Building, replying to emails and providing the required documentation. Eventually we were able to medevacuate one of the two patients overseas where he is getting treatment, but the other we were not able to (and I am now hoping for the best and preparing for worst.) And at the same time, I was dealing with a tourist visitor who had a critically deteriorating medical condition and there were no family around to inform, only friends and associates. I asked that they inform a relative to come down and assist just in case we also had to medevacuate him overseas too.
And then the swelling and pains started in my left knee, and I realised that I had another of my flares that seems to “pop up” after times of emotional and physical stress. And given my intimate knowledge of the natural history of my condition, I knew what was going to happen in that I would have had to get the fluid removed from my knee and had steroids injected to simmer down the inflammation with 2-3 weeks bed rest. Also that same day, I got some very distressing news that the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Health was sent on vacation leave, and this was the more unsettling given the machinations that had occurred there several months ago. This added emotional fuel to the fire that was raging in my knee.
So I premedicated myself with oral steroids and decided to rest, elevate, with ice and compression of the knee that weekend hoping the swelling would not reach the point in which the oral steroids were not working and I would then have to see the orthopedic specialist for decompression and relief. So I asked my secretary to reschedule all of my patients for the week. I would go in the mornings with my knee braced, and do a “quick” ward round and go home as soon as I was finished to rest. But that Monday, I returned to a very toxic environment with colleagues verbally arguing and insulting each other which added to worsening despondency in my psyche knowing fully well this does not bode well for comradery and morale among the medical fraternity.
This became an existential crisis for me, as not only was I in physical pain, I started to question again, for the fourth time, whether it was time to unplug from this dysfunctional civil health service and concentrate on my own physical, mental, social and spiritual health and wellbeing, and that of my family and private patients who also suffered from the unintended consequences of my physical incapacity. I did not see how the work environment was going to get any better as to my knowledge and understanding I did not see any moves by those in leadership positions in the Ministry of Health or Hospital Administration trying to make our lives and capacities and abilities to provide for our patients easier or better. I kept asking myself how can dysfunctional disorderly leadership at the top help create orderly functional stewardship and contribute to the growth and development of a physically, mentally, socially and spiritually healthy citizenry. Instead of catalysing a positive policy reinforcing environment of comradery and unity with discourse and engagement, all that was happening was festering of fragmentation, disunity, lack of communication and disengagement. And we are not talking about a fishmarket here, but one of the most important Ministries in any country, as the physical, mental and emotional health of the collective is the basis of any meaningful productivity in the growth and development of the country. The situation appeared hopeless and I was prepared to hand in my letter of resignation with the appropriate time notice with the reason being concern for my physical health.
That was chapter one of my breakdown, but during all that sense of unease, there was a quiet voice in the background whispering, “Be still, and know..”
So I went to work in the mornings, and came home in the afternoons for strict bed rest with icing and elevation and compression, with continued high dose corticosteroids. For those of you who have ever been on steroids, there is a peculiar side effect – it makes you hyper, irritable, can’t sleep and always want to eat. With all of this downtime after lunch, as usually is the case, I had to preoccupy my mind, and with internet access, MacBook Air and kindle, I engaged in a form of escapism from the immediate concerns of life and got loss in my first love physics and mathematics. I remembered my teachers then imploring me that whenever I had a problem, to always go back to fundamentals, and by applying discipline and rigourous thinking and logic to its application, if we chose to engage, this line of thinking will help provide the answer. And then I started to question if the same principles can be applied to our socially perceived intractable situations, and to use the gifted life-line of Prof. John McMurtry’s primary axiom of value to explore a more fully inclusive and coherent lifeview to rationalise it all.
As fate would have had it, my mental, emotional, and spiritual capacities were primed in my search for solutions to local problems for the mother of all breakdowns that was to manifest during my self-imposed “sabbatical” of recuperation – President Elect Trump! The social media lit up with so much negativity, felt like virtual Armageddon, and the sense of disbelief was unbelievable. This now took on cosmic doom and gloom proportions in the collective consciousness of the planet; nevertheless, in all of this, I kept hearing this quiet voice in the background whispering, “Be still, and know..”
And the deluge of information came from my readings ranging from every field imaginable from the quantum to the cosmos, from the East to the West, and from the ancients to the futurists. For those of you who are in my spheres of contacts on social media, you would have been intimately aware of the information that I was sharing, as for me, if they are helping to shine some light in some of the dark spots and cracks of my understanding, I was sure it must surely be of some assistance to you. I was not content in partial understandings but I wanted a fully coherent life synthetic understanding of everything.
And the breakthrough came in the voice and calm reason of none other than the writings of Ervin Laszlo who provided that fully life coherent understanding – his discovery of the unifying presence in the universe of the Akashic field of UNITY and ONENESS that connects, guides, and empowers the engines of coherently creative growth and development in the cosmos. It was what all of our ancient and modern wisdom teachers have sensed and have tried to give a name to given their cultural development and cognitive understanding of their time and literally explains the many coherently inclusive loving, caring and forgiving faces of Tao/God/Allah/Jehovah/Buddha/Divine Presence. And more so, what I realised in all of this, was that all along I was having a live and direct spiritual connection with the Source via this quiet voice in the background whispering “Be still, and know..”
Then there was an orgasm of epiphanies one after the other, uncontrollable to the point of feeling being ripped out of space and time and having a perspective of a total complete understanding of it all that was not frightening or scary but refreshing, peaceful, consoling and understanding.
And then it dawned on me, was it the steroids?
We are taught in medical school of the negative side effects of these potential harmful drugs, the bleeding, the diabetes and hypertension, the bone loss and ulcers, along with depression and psychosis. Was I hallucinating or having a psychotic episode, given what mainstream medical education has taught us? This did not make sense, as this did not appear to be pathology, but supra-physiology. Could these steroids be psychedelics that allow us to plug into the Akashic field during times of stress for solace, comfort and healing? These steroids are normally produced in our bodies but somehow the stress alleviating response may have been suboptimally due to chronic unrelieved stress (could be called cortisol resistance) and what I may have been unwittingly doing was topping up to physiological/supra-physiological doses. Could it be the case, which I have seen manifested in my patients and society in general, where short term adaptation, if unresolved becomes long-term maladaptation, and where short-term solutions to long term problems become self-defeating?
Could it be that many natural plant-based drugs like cannabis are psychedelics and not psychotropics? Could they be instead of gateway drugs, cognitive tools to quieting the mind and allowing it to expand as we plug into the Akashic field of UNITY and ONENESS and LOVE? By criminalising these plant-based substances and preventing our bodies from healing themselves from within, are we obstructing the Divine Plan of us humans tending the gardens of the plant world and dis-allowing the plant world from tendering to our inner gardens of life-healing? Given the many medicinal uses of cannabis that have been discovered as of late, was its criminalisation and that of other plant-based medicines and therapies a crime against humanity? By preventing our inalianable right of access to these common cognitive tools to help connect the dots of understanding, have the political and economic establishment unwittingly, not out of conspiracy, but out of pure ignorance, kept us dumbed down by the institutions they stewarded? The shamans were the repository of wisdom of their time. Imagine if we had used our public institutions to study and get a better scientific wholistic understanding of both plant-based medicine and whole-food plant based diets, and appreciate that we are not separate or apart from nature? What would have been the side effects or unintended consequences of this? More peace, more harmony and more unity? Would we have found ourselves in this age of irrelevance!
As you can tell, I have made it a my life’s mission to help decode the problems of my patients and by extension the social and planetary life hosts and I have to thank Prof John McMurtry for his guidance along the way. He has been a prophet and an angel and we all owe him a debt of utmost gratitude for helping pave the way. It hurts me deeply to feel the pain when truthseekers are not accepted in their time and place for what they are truly worth. I gather the chatter of modern destructive life can be disabling, and the need to unplug into the sacred zones of isolation in meditation and seclusion to connect with the Akashic fields of cosmic understanding, which Ervin Laszlo has revealed to us in all ifs awe, majesty and glory.
If I can summarise what my breakthrough is in the understanding of it all, it is this: The map of our life view, which we inherited over the years during our increase in awareness and consciousness of our humanity and mortality, has been a distorted and false one in which the map was incomplete and even inverted!
It was incomplete because the cosmic elephant in the room of understanding was blinded out and even made taboo in our modern and post-modern cultures. It was inverted in that this infinite source of energy that empowered 1) provision of UNIVERSAL HUMAN LIFE NECESSITIES, 2) forgiveness for SHORTCOMINGS and 3) peaceful resolution of CONFLICT, was blinkered out. In this man-made abhored vaccuum, our social constructs, contracts, and covenants were established and become totally life-decoherent via our life-destructive system of rules of engagement in our policies at the local, regional and international levels. This greatly undermined the coherently creative and organising life capital that reached its highest zenith in our species and the unintended consequences of our hubris – the self-maximising problem solving idolatary of the mechanistic atomising market that has no intelligence to ground, anchor or steer it in a comprehensively more inclusive creative and regenerating world.
We are all good people. As Deepak Chopra always says, we are always doing the best we can, given the level of understanding, awareness and appreciation of the challenges and solutions we face.
This is the Holy Grail, the Rosetta Stone, the Perennial Wisdom and Philosophy that surpasses all understanding. We have all been victims in this collective human journey irrespective of where we came from, be it for those up high, to those down low. The anti-establishment rage locally, regionally and internationally is justified, along with the manifested vitriol in every aspect of society among different groups of people, IF AND ONLY IF, the negativity is channeled towards the INCOMPLETE and INVERTED MAP that was sincerely misguiding us. These are the physical, mental, and emotional immune cosmic shadows of the Akashic field trying to speak to us loudly above the chatter of irrelevancy, and telling us in fact, that this is the most relevant age of our time, and that if we don’t turn over a new page, or become born-again in this most complete and accurate understanding of the WORD, then we would now be the source of humanity’s downfall and we would have no other but ourselves to blame.
Just like we say to each other when we have untimely death, “Gone to soon,” the same can be said of humanity. Life is fragile and transient, which we all have to face. But unnecessary preventable suffering and pain is not, be it physical, mental, social or existential. We can help work together to cocreate a better planetary consciousness our hearts know is definitely possible given Ervin Laslo physico-spiritual and Prof John McMurtry’s life-value onto-axiological cognitive maps with a renewed relevance of our age, expanding our spheres of concerns and influence to the entire planetary spaces. By using the inexhaustible soft power of heart, mind, soul and spirit, from the ground/bottom-up to acknowledge in a Global Truth and Reconciliation Exercise that we have collectively erred, we can hit the ground running by helping to reform our public institutions, be they local, regional or international, to put these insights and wisdom into policies and practice for global peace and solidarity as we heal the wounds of our social and planetary life hosts and we collectively help to co-create a just and sustainable planetary system of rules of governance.
This collective human endeavour would be the turning point our ancestors and the future generations would be proud of as our ancestors’ struggles would not have been in vain. And by the time we have been disincarnated and moved on to the Akashic field, we would have succeeded and helped set the global stage that would have made relevant once again a new age, the Age of the Great Turn, when we reconnected back to the Source of it all.
“Be Still, and Know..”
Here are the list of articles and books that have guided me to this understanding which I am sure will be assistance to others in their spiritual journeys too.
You Can Change the World: The Global Citizen’s Handbook for Living on Planet Earth Kindle Edition by Ervin Laszlo (Author), Masami Saionji (Author), Mikhail Gorbachev (Introduction), Paulo Coelho (Preface)